Jalopnik Reviews, 2006 Volkswagen Golf GTI, Part 3

Vee Dub's $25k cruise missile is the financially challenged pistonhead's Porsche. We're talking maximum bang for the buck (discounting the cramped MINI Cooper S and pricier, harder-riding Subaru WRX STi and Mitsubishi Evo). The GTI is also an ideal chariot for less adrenal enthusiasts with kids and an aversion to...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Cadillac Escalade (AWD), Part 1

I don't pretend to "get" African American automotive culture. Replacing wheels and tires engineered for ride comfort and dynamic performance with double dubs wearing communion wafers makes about much sense to me as wearing shorts big enough for Siamese twins. By the same token, stunting and flossing strikes me something...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Cadillac Escalade (AWD), Part 2

According to several Jalopnik commenters, the new Escalade's blingtasticness and Range Rover rip-off sportholes identify its drivers as secret (at least to them) members of LAMIA: Look At Me I'm an Asshole. I consider that analysis uncharitable, unhelpful and only partially accurate. Although I continue to admire the restrained elegance...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Cadillac Escalade (AWD), Part 3

The Escalade is an urban style statement. 'Nuff said? It's an over-priced, dim-witted, gas-guzzling, poorly packaged, badge-engineered Tahoe that immediately identifies you as an environmentally insensitive urban style victim. · Speed Merchants: No · Fashion Victims: · Treehuggers: No · Mack Daddies: · Tuner Crowd: No · Hairdressers: No ·...

Nov 15, 2024

Guest Editor Dave Thomas Makes Time With A Volvo C70

When I scheduled the Volvo C70 for a week of testing I was expecting a vehicle that, as a man, I'd be ashamed to be seen in. You know, like a Mini Convertible (just kidding!). Instead, I've actually been converted to the simple styling of the hard-top drop-top. With the...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Toyota FJ Cruiser, Part 1

Who the Hell thought of the Labradoodle? Letting a Labrador and a Poodle do the wild thing — on purpose — strikes me as about as advisable as marrying off Adriana Lima and Pee Wee Herman. Or, if you prefer, building a hard core off-roader and tarting it up to...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Toyota FJ Cruiser, Part 2

It's so ugly it's beautiful. It's so beautiful— no wait. Although the FJ's front end has a wonderfully butch (if kinkily Playskool) H2-meets-old-FJ-on-the-dark-side-of-town look to it, the Toy's side profile is the strangest combination of angles, textures, shapes, proportions and lines I've seen since I dropped mescaline in the produce...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2007 Toyota FJ Cruiser, Part 3

The FJ is an extremely capable off-roader. It's an urban style statement. It's an extremely capable off-roader that's an urban style statement. And it's cheap. If you don't go off-road, you might as well have "fashion victim" tattooed on your forearm as cruise in a Cruiser. The FJ ain't nothin'...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Toyota Yaris, Part 1

Egghead that I am, I've always had a bit of a problem analyzing mainstream Toyotas. The damn things are so stunningly unobjectionable that criticizing them is the reverse equivalent of complaining that Beethoven's Ninth is too loud. Just like the Corolla or, um, what is it? Best-seller... Oh what a...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Toyota Yaris, Part 2

The Yaris Liftback's design represents a conflict between "small is beautiful" and "man is that ugly." If the detailing was halfway cool, I'd cast my lot with the willing-to-be-crushed-like-a-bug-for-my-art camp. But it isn't. The slight creases flanking the Yaris' front logo are all kinds of ludicrous, and someone missed the...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Toyota Yaris, Part 3

It's small, cheap, frugal, reliable and not slow. It's small, cheap, frugal, reliable, ugly and dull. · Speed Merchants: No · Fashion Victims: · Treehuggers: · Mack Daddies: No · Tuner Crowd: No · Hairdressers: No · Penny Pinchers: · Euro Snobs: No · Working Stiffs: · Technogeeks: No ·...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Altima SE, Part 1

What would Donald D. Winnicott drive? Although the English psychoanalyst shuffled off this mortal coil in 1971 — a year when gas-guzzling dinosaurs roamed the earth and the Bandit had yet to be smokied — one wonders if the originator of the "good enough mother" would have opted for a...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Altima SE, Part 2

If Star Trek fans can get all excited about a Klingon ship's cloak of invisibility, I can give four-stars to the Altima for being the LAC (Least Objectionable Car) in the mid-market family sedan segment. My favorite (if that's the right word) part of the Altima's design is its relatively...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Nissan Altima SE, Part 3

Although the '06 Altima is not quite "the cure for the common car" (I'm going with the Pagani Zonda), it's about as peppy a family four-door as money can buy — especially now that the '07 refresh is on its way and big discounts on '06's are on offer. The...

Nov 15, 2024

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Mercury Milan, Part 1

We've been here before, only last time it was called the Ford Fusion. Or was it the Lincoln Zephyr MKZ? No matter, this time we're looking at the Mercury Milan. It's Mercury's attempt to stay relevant by attracting new buyers to the brand — buyers who are young and hip...

Nov 15, 2024