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For $34,900, Meet The Steeler Dealer
For $34,900, Meet The Steeler Dealer-April 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:08

The phrase “mid-life crisis” was coined by Canadian psychologist Elliot Jaques way back in 1965. It’s also a killer track from the Mike Patton-era Faith No More. Today’s Corvette is about mid-lifey as you could want, but is it priced to cause a low-funds crisis?

What’s your take on buff older dudes? Specifically those with a cap of snowy wisps atop their head, a pornstache, and prone to sleeveless tees showing off their still-toned guns and support for their favorite football team, half a continent away? Would you buy a used car from such a man?

Today you have that option as this extrovert-in-a-can is being offered just such a dude, down in Phoenix AZ.

Now, far be it from me to cast judgement based solely on a Craigslist ad, and I’m a little concerned about this guy showing up on my doorstep itching for a scrap, but here we go anyway.

The car is either a blue flames over yellow base, or a base blue being overtaken by a bukake’s worth of yellow sperm, I can’t tell for sure. This model year was the celebration of the Corvette’s 50th Anniversary, the sports car itself having amazingly reached middle age. This car is claimed to be one of that year's commemorative models. Those however were all supposedly painted metallic burgundy, so the current custom paint job may actually diminish the car’s long-term value in direct contrast to its short term value in picking up the ladies.

Other 50th Anniversary touches such as the shale colored seats with 50th embroidery in their headrests (it does appear on the dash), and nickel painted rather than chrome on the alloys are also absent. Perhaps making up for that is a Magnuson twin-scroll supercharger sitting atop the LS1 and making a promised 600-bhp.

The little blue pill-worthy ALL-CAPS ad notes a bunch of other upgrades too numerous to list, although there is mention of the car having but 25K on its clock and a set of new plus-one Pirelli P-Zeros underneath. Not mentioned but obvious is a custom high-center hood to clear the blower.

Visually, the car also sports a #1 Steelers Fan plate on the front, reinforcing the seller’s aforementioned shirt. This despite the car and seller obviously being in the Southwest.

Why is #1 Fan now living in Phoenix and selling what’s obviously an extension of his youthful mindset? Hard to say, and Mrs. #1 fan (guessing here) doesn’t seem too sad to see it go either. Still, if you or someone you know might be on the verge of a mid-life crisis, then this hot Vette might be a relief to find behind the glass marked break in case of emergency.

But is the physical manifestation of the panic caused by cresting the maturity hill worth $34,900 to drive the pain away? This Corvette would obviously be reinvigorating, despite all the questions around its 50th-ness, but is it worth that much?

What do you think, is $34,900 a fair price for this supercharged C5 and another chance at making the young girls take notice? Or, would paying that much give someone a mad-wife crisis?

You decide!

or go if the ad disappears.

H/T to Quake Guy for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

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