Cheap is good. Fast is good. Having a fast car that also allows your wallet to be padded by the crispest of singles is a perk that I don’t think any human on the planet would pass up. That’s why last week under a $5,000 budget. Cheap speed is best speed.
The easiest way to make a car faster is to give it a larger engine, and the easiest way to buy a cheap car is to buy a depreciated luxury car, that’s why makes so much damn sense. Not only does it have a mammoth V12 engine, but it can cruise at its limited top speed of 155 miles per hour for as long as it takes for the fuel to run out - so probably around 20 minutes.
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Have you ever wanted to be Vanilla Ice? Be honest. No? Alright, that was a long shot. But he did have a cool car in that one video - . Well, not exactly the same car, although it is a white convertible just like Ice’s because it’s physically impossible to carry his massive ego in anything that doesn’t have a retractable roof. This example is quite formidable in stock trim and can go toe-to-toe with supercars given a modest budget and enough straight road ahead. It’s still as good as it was years ago - maybe even better.
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When cars are inexpensive, any added feature is a bonus. The fact that has a convertible top is a feature that should be considered an additional perk if you don’t live in a place where it rains, snows, or sometimes smells funny. The power it possesses won’t win any land speed competitions, but with the insane aftermarket support, this could be one of the fastest ‘verts that ever did ‘vert.
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Long-forgotten cars like are going up in price because people are realizing that the chassis is one of the best to come out of the nostalgia-fest that we call the ‘90s, and power doesn’t really matter all that much anyway because the 155 mph is plenty fast for a relatively light and planted car. Rose-tinted glasses can still be bought cheap, but not for long.
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may have relatively small displacement, but it certainly makes up for it. I’ll let explain:
With the rev limiter removed, the 2.8T V6 can hit 155 mph (the same motor in the ). Even Oppo-lock gave a nod to the Saab on the fastest FWD cars list. Bonus- any other car on that list is bought cheap and boy-racer abused, whereas the 9-3 was had from dealerships for rather pricey, and thus typically lived a more sedate first few years. It’s also one of the few cars in this challenge that is not only less than 10 years old, but also on the right side of this millennium.
What’s not to love here? Well, first, it’s a Florida car with a rebuilt title. The claim is that it was in the wrong side of a rear-ender accident (not that there ever is a good side). Plus, being from Florida, one would have to substantiate the claim that the reason for rebuild is truly as stated, and not from spending some time on Bikini Bottom. Second, that driver’s seat has seen some things, man... It’s seen some things. In fact, all those seat leathers look rough. Current bidding is at $2500. Given the rebuilt title and what similar vintage Saab 9-3 Aeros go for, I would fathom that the final sale price will be below $5k.
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Do you want a Buick Grand National but hate the fact that you can never see your kids anymore because they now have to work longer hours? Well, fret no more, as you can get the performance of Buick’s not-so-sleepy sleeper in a package that even the most frugal helicopter dad can afford - . It’s the answer to the question: Why pay for filet mignon when Steakums are cheaper and it all ends up in your toilet anyway?
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is one of the best performance bargains in the history of the motorcar. It has a nearly 300-HP 4.4 liter V8 engine that delivers massive amounts of torque through six manual gears or an untold number of automatic ones. Who knows, the number could be infinite. Anyone that has a well-sorted E39 is a person that will always smile when they set off on their morning commute because it’s an event when you press the go-pedal.
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is a performance bargain-and-a-half. I’l let explain:
Among the top depreciating luxury marques is Jaguar, a regal firm from the British Isles with a penchant for leather, beautiful wood, and superchargers. They’ve made some mistakes in the past, but the severe unreliability which they are still marked against for to this day, went out with Windows 95. My submission for you today is a car that encompasses all of Jaguar’s best qualities, and none of it’s worst. This is a 1998 Jaguar XJR. It has a 4.0L Supercharged V8 making 370 horsepower with a limiter at 155mph, like the good Germans have. It has 120,000 miles on the clock and the owner wants only $4,500 - that’s a buy it now price.
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In the late ‘80s and early ‘90s, Nissan decided to make a world-beating car that would have a timeless look and performance on par with anything its rivals were putting out, and they created . Although base models like this one were anything but blisteringly quick, they shared chassis and engine designs with the turbo models, making them one hell of a potential powerhouse. Step into this car and you’re entering a world of tire-roasting possibilities.
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had a sordid past, but when you’re buying a car for next to nothing, character can make the difference between a sale and a pass, and this car has it oozing out of every hand-sized panel gap. I’ll let explain:
You want v8? You want rumble? You want ‘MURICA?! Here it is. The 1994 Pontiac Firebird Formula with the 5.7 V8. Row your own gears as well. This stunning example with an AutoCheck rating of 0, and a mere 17 owners is the dream find. If you want fast (not reliable it won’t do that at all) this is where you start. 275 hp, murderous looks (literally you look like a murderer), what more can you ask for?
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is the founder of and writes and about on the internet. He owns the world’s cheapest , a , and he’s the only Jalopnik author that has never driven a Miata. He also has a real name that he didn’t feel was journalist-y enough so he used a pen name and this was the best he could do.
My name is Tavarish and I make videos about buying, modifying, and breaking cars. I also have…
You can also follow him on and . He won’t mind.