What does four million bones buy someone with a massive velocity addiction? How about an ultra rare Bugatti Veyron Super Sport or a Cold War vintage Mikoyan Gurevich MiG-29 Fulcrum . But which one should you buy?

The MiG-29 was one muscular beast even in its first iterations, and it still remains an extremely formidable opponent in a "knife fight" against more modern fighters. With its jaw drop instantaneous turning ability, wicked fast dash capability and eye watering climb performance, the MiG-29 was something that western fighter pilots would avoid seeing with their own eyes if at all possible. In a "knife fight" she was incredibly dangerous, especially when paired with her old school helmet mounted sight and AA-11 "Archer" missiles.

The Bugatti Veyron SS is known as the fastest production car in the world, topping out at 267.8mph. Although there was some during its world record runs, the supercar maker did produce five out of the 50 Super Sports without a governor.

Well, um, that didn't take long. The people at Guinness World Records have decided to give the…

These ultra rare cars are capable of hitting that aforementioned magic number, the other 45 production examples are limited to "only" 258mph. The Veyron SS may be the road performance king, but you will also feel pretty damn royal inside of its luxurious race inspired interior. Simply put, the Bugatti family already has the best seat in the house when it comes to motorsports hierarchy, and the Super Sport sits proudly at the head of the table.

Seeing as both a and a are for sale right now at pretty similar price points, let's break it down to the basics so that we can make the right decision and get the most out of the four million greenbacks burning a hole in our theoretical pockets:

Veyron SS: 8L W-16 with four turbos 4X MiG-29: 2 Klimov RD-33 turbofans

Veyron SS: 1200 hp MiG-29: 36,600 lbs of thrust

Veyron SS: 4,052 lbs MiG-29: 24,000 lbs

Veyron SS: 267.8MPH MiG-29: 810MPH sea level, 1475MPH at altitude

Veyron SS: (0-60mph) 2.4 seconds MiG-29: (rate of climb) 60,000 ft/min

Veyron SS: 26.4 US Gallons MiG-29: 1100 US Gallons

Veyron SS: about 400 miles MiG-29: about 800 miles

Veyron SS: $120 MiG-29: $4,950

Veyron SS: 15.9 mpg MiG-29: about .74mpg

Veyron SS: 10mins MiG-29: 14 minutes

Veyron SS: +1.09 horizontal, +1.4 lateral MiG-29: +9 vertical

Veyron SS: 2 seated abreast MiG-29: 2 seated tandem

Veyron SS: black carbon & tangerine MiG-29: blue & gray camo, bort #37 RED

Veyron SS: $20,000 MiG-29: $20,000

Veyron SS World Record Edition: 1 of 5 MiG-29UB: about 200 airframes

Veyron SS: 2 years old MiG-29UB: 28 years old

Veyron SS: 300 miles MiG-29: 818hrs since new, 118hrs since full overhaul

Veyron SS: Airbag, racing seats, stability control MiG-29: K-36D Ejection Seats

Veyron SS: Variable Geometry Spoiler MiG-29: clamshell Air brake

Veyron SS: Sucks MiG-29: Sucks

Veyron SS: $12k per tire MiG-29: Years of training or hire a fighter pilot

Veyron SS: $3.5M MiG-29UB: $4.65M

So now that the comparatives are all laid out, which one of these legendary brutes would you blow your $4M on in a desperate attempt to ease your velocity crack cravings?

(Hat tip to Nick!)