zzdcar
Home
/
Reviews
/
Buying
/
Brand-New 1988 Pontiac Fiero With 221 Miles For $40,000!
Brand-New 1988 Pontiac Fiero With 221 Miles For $40,000!-October 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:18

Turning 21 can mean big changes — new opportunities, more respect and the chance to strike out on your own. But as knows, sometimes it can be hard to spread your wings.

Yesterday, you zombie-loving prom-goers gave the a twenty-one Nice Price salute, with a solid 68% of you voting it prom queen. Today, we've going to ogle a 21 year-old, and she's a beauty too. But do you have what it takes to do her right?

Whether you need to traverse a vast wasteland of zombies, or make sure the kids get to the prom on…

With the Pontiac brand being yet another celebrity to shuffle off this mortal coil, dealers are beginning to sell off old stock. Most of the spawn of the Indian Chief honorific that you'll find standing on the lots are ‘09s or even a few dusty ‘08s, but it's unlikely you'll come across something old enough not to need a fake ID. Hinton Motors, in Lynden Washington, has been sitting on just such a sweet twenty-one year old, and not only is she of legal age, but is rocking the short skirts and some killer curves. She's got an athletic build, is probably good at sports, and her parent's must have been hippies, because they named her Fiero.

Now, by 1988 Pontiac was over the notion that the Fiero was a commuter car, and had gotten around to fixing many of the things that were wrong with the little two-seater. The craptacular suspension of the previous years was replaced with a racing-honed version that finally had proper geometry, and the rock-solid 2.8 liter pushrod V6 pumped out a healthy-for-the-time 140bhp, 42 more than the Iron Duke in the base models. New disk brakes and revised armstrong power steering also add to the desirability of this last-year for the American mid-enginer. 


There's a lot of '88 Fieros running around, what with over 26,000 built that year, but this one is different. What this car has been doing the past 21 years is a mystery, but we can tell what it wasn't doing was racking up the miles - there's only 221 on the clock. It's possible that, like many a young lass, her parents kept her in a convent or stuffy boarding school during those formative years, meaning that, now of legal age, she's ready to break free and cut loose. And you could be the one to help her out of her shell.

Of course, putting miles on a 21 year-old, 221 mile car is like taking a dump in a Ming Dynasty vase- sure you can do it, but it wreaks havoc on the resale value. So, the best thing would be to find a warm, dry spot in the garage, and make her comfortable. Every now and then go out and tell her she looks nice, and no, that spoiler doesn't make her butt look too big.

Eventually, as seals shrivel, and fluids dry up, she'll grow old, tired, and incontinent. 21 will turn to 30, and then, before you know it, 45, and she'll wonder where her life has gone. She'll pine for the freedom of the open road that, for so long, has been denied her, and will lament that she never met the right person who loved her for what she was deep down inside- a fun-loving sportscar- rather than people who only were attracted to her for her looks. Sure, she still has had only a few cranks on the odo, but there's more to life than what those numbers exemplify, and now, tires rock-hard, and ball-joints frozen, all that has passed her by. There she sits, under the incessant hum of the cold, unflattering florescent garage lights, only occasionally allowed out to stretch her legs, but never for more than a day, and then back to the dark confines of her cage, and under the smothering blindfold of her tight, confining car cover. It's not the life she had imagined for herself. Or would ever wish on even her worst enemy.

It doesn't have to be that way. $40,000 is a lot of Clamato for a twenty one year old, but not if you are in it for the long haul. This is a unique opportunity, a time capsule to make up for past mistakes, a chance to catch that one that got away. Pontiac got the Fiero right by '88, and then condemned her to the ignominy of spending the rest of her life possibly wearing poor-fitting, faux Italian fashions, or worse, and eventually a slow, painful death of junkyard violations and her plastic body warped and faded by the unrelenting sun.

But you can make her an honest woman, and give her everything she needs for a life filled with joy- an open road, a heavy right foot, and the promise always to take care of her, miles be damned. Are you ready for that kind of commitment? The challenge of a life together seems daunting, she comes from a broken home after all. But even more intimidating is that dowry - forty-large. Do you think that's a Nice Price for a life of highway hijinks with such a lithe, pretty young thing? Or do you think she's smoking the Crack Pipe if she thinks she can get you to the church for that kind of scratch?

You decide!

()

or go if the ad gets found out by its oppressive parents. Hat tip to Mustang05_awesome!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a tip.

Comments
Welcome to zzdcar comments! Please keep conversations courteous and on-topic. To fosterproductive and respectful conversations, you may see comments from our Community Managers.
Sign up to post
Sort by
Show More Comments
Buying
Which One Of You Suckers Is Going To Pay Over $32,000 For A 25-Year-Old Toyota 4Runner
Which One Of You Suckers Is Going To Pay Over $32,000 For A 25-Year-Old Toyota 4Runner
The (and Tacoma) have a death grip on used values. It’s been this way for years. Go ahead, go try and buy any TRD trim that’s a couple of years old; it’ll cost you as much as a new one — not that you could buy a new one...
Oct 30, 2024
Someone Willingly Paid $16,000 For A Maserati Ghibli On Cars & Bids. Don’t Make The Same Mistake
Someone Willingly Paid $16,000 For A Maserati Ghibli On Cars & Bids. Don’t Make The Same Mistake
Let’s cut right to the chase: buying a is not a good idea unless you have deep enough pockets for the upkeep. For those not in the know, they’re sirens. They draw you in with their premium Italian image and sweet songs of and then go in for the...
Oct 30, 2024
At $18,500, Would You Lean Toward Buying This 2022 Ford Mustang?
At $18,500, Would You Lean Toward Buying This 2022 Ford Mustang?
Today’s Mustang is being sold by a towing yard, which means it’s probably a lien sale. Let’s see if this clean title convertible is priced to put a new buyer on the hook. The general consensus on last Friday’s was that it would be the perfect car for someone...
Oct 30, 2024
At $8,600, Would You Go Topless In This 1994 Cadillac Eldorado?
At $8,600, Would You Go Topless In This 1994 Cadillac Eldorado?
The seller of today’s Caddy claims they should be selling it at auction but says who’s got time for that? Let’s see if we have the time for this custom convertible at its non-auction price. Many of you agreed that the $950 asked for yesterday’s was “chump change.” Even...
Oct 30, 2024
At $5,900, Is This 1984 Nissan 720 4X4 A Solid Deal?
At $5,900, Is This 1984 Nissan 720 4X4 A Solid Deal?
According to its seller, today’s Nissan 4X4 shows “pride of ownership.” Let’s see if it would take swallowing one’s pride to pay its asking price. Opinions were split on how well the design of yesterday’s has held up over the years. Some of you commented that the design still...
Oct 30, 2024
At $950, Would You Go All-In On This 1984 Plymouth Colt GTS Turbo Project?
At $950, Would You Go All-In On This 1984 Plymouth Colt GTS Turbo Project?
One of the calling cards of today’s Plymouth Colt is its “Twin Stick” overdrive gear change, which gives the car eight speeds going forward and two in reverse. Let’s see if this project car has anything else to offer. Just as Goldilocks discovered when appropriating Papa Bear’s lifestyle and...
Oct 30, 2024
Copyright 2023-2024 - www.zzdcar.com All Rights Reserved