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For $1,400, take the former Daimler-Chrysler merger to its illogical conclusion
For $1,400, take the former Daimler-Chrysler merger to its illogical conclusion-September 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:13

There used to be this joke, back when Mercedes' parent corporation bought Chrysler, that went something like this: how do you pronounce Daimler-Chrysler in German? Daimler, the Chrysler is silent. Today's SL500-bodied Sebring is no joke, but will the price make you wonder if the seller is serious?

Speaking of die real Benz, yesterday's might have needed some TLC, but that didn't stop 85% of you from anointing it with an oily Nice Price win. Bunch of hippies, that's what you are.

If you should choose to dine exclusively at fast food joints, you will likely shorten your life by…

Today you might be thinking, whoa, another Benz, what gives? But no my friends, this is not a product of the Swabians, but is a clever ruse so that its owner may play the part of pretentious ‘90s douchebag without having to actually spend the money that normally requires.

It is apparently without irony that this is being offered in Southern California's Inland Empire, were backyard meth labs once rivaled Starbucks in number. Actually Moreno Valley, where this faux-cedes currently resides is quite nice and has been built up over recent years to the point where only the most swank of Meth labs can today afford the rent.

They should still be able to afford this Mopar Benz however, although much like yesterday's real deal it requires some work - specifically a new slushbox. If it were an actual SL500, that could mean thousands of dollars in repair bills and the requirement that the owner deal with humorless German mechanics who still harbor superiority complexes. Instead, being a Sebring underneath, it could be easily serviced at any AAMCO or Pep Boys service bay, with no judgement involved and a Mentos moment when the mechanic realizes he's been wrenching on a Chrysler.

But why in the meth-hazed world would someone want to buy a Mercedes SL500-bodied Sebring in the first place? I have some theories.

1. It hides the shame of driving a Sebring.

2. It wonderfully accents your faux-lex wristwatch, and Just for Men® hair color.

3. You can't actually tell the difference.

4. Because no real SL500 had a digital dash.

5. You're Lee Iaccoca.

Like the Chrysler Maserati TC before it, this Benz-aping front driver may be trying too hard to be something it's not, but hey, who among us hasn't at one time or another stepped into an other's shoes, maxed out their credit cards, and then blown a tranny? I mean, I'm not alone here, right? Hello?

Okay, well, at least this Sebring won't likely even dent anybody's credit card - with the exception of that busted TRENSMISSION - and the vinyl and. . . more vinyl interior looks without need and ready to sear thighs on super sunny days. The top is partially deployed in the pictures, representing that ancient conundrum of whether you're a top half-up or half-down kind of guy. One of the ways this Sebring doesn't mimic the Benz sportscar is its lack of a hard-top roof that could bolt in place of the soft version, but to make up for that, it comes with an added pair of seats in the back. Also, the chrome three-spoke rims are channeling less the Swabians and more the Scheiße

But it's only $1,400, although you'll need to decide fast as the seller won't hold the car for anybody - no sir, he's not gonna' do it. But then, this is a decision that shouldn't take too long. What's your take on this Sebring that looks like and SL? Is its $1,400 price tag a fair value considering you're getting two cars in one? Or, is that a price tag that, like the car, is pretending to be something it's not?

You decide!

or go if the ad disappears.

H/T to Rob-Stercraw for the hookup.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

In the above post, please replace all instances of Sebring with Le Baron as I apparently got fixated on the later car's craptitude.

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