zzdcar
Home
/
Reviews
/
Buying
/
Get Hofmeister Kinky with a BMW Middle Child for $7,995
Get Hofmeister Kinky with a BMW Middle Child for $7,995-March 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:10:16

In Ready or Not, Here I Come, Schoolhouse Rock taught us just how much fun counting by fives can be. Today, knows you can count on a to bring the fun.

It's because of his driving the snakes out of Ireland that we celebrate Saint Patrick and dye the Chicago River green once every year. Equally celebratory was our which yesterday 67% of you proved content to drive out of just about anywhere.

Not everybody knows the DeLorean was built in Ireland. As today's St. Patrick's Day, and Nice Price

While that gull-wing coupe really seemed to shamrock your world, it still was a car built upon compromises. The engine wasn't the first choice, the chassis was a late addition designed by Lotus, and St John the Dealer compromised his ethics in a failed attempt to keep the whole shebang afloat. In contrast, today's contender is intransigent in delivering the purest expression of its purpose.

When Goldilocks perpetrated a home invasion robbery attempt on the three bears, her plan was foiled by the Ursine homeowner's early return, and her own compulsion to sample every option of the bear's household accouterments despite always settling on the middle one as just right. While even Goldilocks would agree that the car with the most horsepower would usually be the preferred choice, today's fills that middle ground so favored by the trespassing blonde, and it too might be just right.

Further extrapolating on the concept, the 535is is Jan Brady to the M5's Marsha, with the standard 535i playing the role of the pig-tailed and extremely annoying Cindy. While Marsha is the aspirational choice, you know she'd be high maintenance, and would eventually leave you broke and horny. Jan, on the other hand, swims in the same gene pool giving you 80% of the Full Brady Experience without quite so much wallet drain and drama. That's why this '87, with its 182-bhp M30 B34 3,430-cc six and sport suspension is such a good choice. Sure, it gives up a little more than 20 ponies to the M5, but the SOHC motor is simpler, and cheaper to maintain than the M's 24-valver. With the Getrag 260/6 five speed - as is equipped in this car - it'll top out at over 130 mph, and handles nearly as well as the M.

The 535is also gets the M5 body kit and sport seats, so it looks the part. Although, while its suspension is upgraded over the i, it's not the same as the M, and it doesn't get its big sister's 4-pot brakes. As the E28 edition of the M5 was only available for a single model year - 1988 - you can see why the unique parts for that car would be more dear.

Inside and out, this 143,500-mile E28 looks both clean and complete, including the dash which typically in cars of this age have more cracks than a plumber's convention. As these cars are pretty quick, the arrest me red paint may not be your first choice, but at least it's shiny.

So what does Jan cost these days? Well, this dealer-offered example has an asking price of $7,995. For that, you're getting two-thirds of the way to Marsha, without having to put up with all of her crap. You're also getting one of the last of the shark-nose boxy bimmers that seemed to define the brand until Chris Bangle arrived and brought with him a can of car style from Fugs Я Us. Oh, and you get a cool boot-lid mounted tool kit to boot.

How about that price? Does a lincoln shy of eight large make you want to adopt this middle child? Or, for that price, would you rather see Alice naked?

You decide!

, or go if the ad disappears. Hats off to rusty735 for the tip.

Help me out with NPOCP. Click to send a me a tip, and remember to include your commenter handle.

Comments
Welcome to zzdcar comments! Please keep conversations courteous and on-topic. To fosterproductive and respectful conversations, you may see comments from our Community Managers.
Sign up to post
Sort by
Show More Comments
Buying
Here’s How The Newest Mazda Miata Really Compares To The Old One
Here’s How The Newest Mazda Miata Really Compares To The Old One
There’s been a Mazda Miata in my mom’s garage for as long as I can remember. She’s a car enthusiast—not the kind who knows every obscure car ever, but the kind who wants to drive and wants to drive a manual transmission. So, when a wound up at my house,...
Mar 28, 2026
What Do You Want To Know About The 2017 Ford Mustang Shelby GT350R?
What Do You Want To Know About The 2017 Ford Mustang Shelby GT350R?
Raph and I have come to Detroit, America’s Finest City™, and for Detroit, we needed a fine car. So we get a 2017 Ford Mustang Shelby GT350R. It’s loud as hell, and comfier than you’d expect. Ask us anything you want about it. I will admit, procuring a GT350R on...
Mar 28, 2026
The 2017 Jaguar F-Type SVR Is A Mean Masterpiece
The 2017 Jaguar F-Type SVR Is A Mean Masterpiece
It’s easy to get enamored with the’s deadly-beautiful design. Wrestling with the car’s complex personality and 575 horsepower is a far greater challenge. But the SVR’s learning curve is perfectly graded to be fearsome and fun at once, and that’s what really makes this machine special. (: I begged Jaguar’s...
Mar 28, 2026
What Do You Want To Know About the Honda S660?
What Do You Want To Know About the Honda S660?
Konnichiwa, ! I picked this guy up earlier today and will be living with it for a few days. At last, you’ll get a Jalopnik Review of Honda’s new micro-sports car. As this is a car Japan selfishly keeps to itself and does not export (officially), tell me what you...
Mar 28, 2026
Watch Out For These Three Warning Signs Of A Shady Used Car Dealer
Watch Out For These Three Warning Signs Of A Shady Used Car Dealer
Buying a used car can be a little trickier than purchasing a new one. When it comes to used cars there are numerous pitfalls to watch out for—persistent mechanical issues, weird smells, questionable choices on the radio’s presets—but where you buy the car shouldn’t be one of them. If you...
Mar 28, 2026
For $6,000, Would You Say Ka-Chow To This 1993 Geo Metro Cars Homage Business Opportunity?
For $6,000, Would You Say Ka-Chow To This 1993 Geo Metro Cars Homage Business Opportunity?
It’s never made clear in Pixar’s Cars universe just what model Lightning McQueen might be, so it’s quite possible today’s Geo is an accurate copy. This one also sells ice cream, so we’ll need to see if its price gives you a brain freeze. Much of the discussion over yesterday’s...
Mar 28, 2026
Copyright 2023-2026 - www.zzdcar.com All Rights Reserved