This past Sunday, with no one to see and nowhere to be, I decided to head to the Upper East Side in Manhattan to check out Barneys New York’s going-out-of-business sale. I’d never been to this department store before—it was far too expensive to be interesting—but now that it’s currently in its death throes, I thought what the hell!!!!!!!
Barneys, to me, was always one of those old-school Manhattan institutions. A high-fashion, high-price and high-class department store for girls like to flounce through when there was nothing better to do. As such, I never set foot inside it because I could never afford anything in there anyway. And, for the most part, I think terribly expensive clothes are superfluous and stupid.
This year, . Resulting are ongoing. They hilariously started as (I don’t know who needs to hear this, but five percent off a bag that costs $2,400 is not a sale!), but now the discounts extend to basically everything else and up to 60 percent off certain items.
And they can be very, very ugly items!
I went browsing for some laughs, and I did find something to laugh about.
This heavily sequined jacket/shirt thing (maybe it’s a smock?) caught my eye from across the room. I went over for a closer look. It was a Valentino and it was very heavy—the design, no doubt, painstakingly assembled unnecessarily by hand. I checked the price tag and had to fight down a laugh.
It was $10,500. This ugly jacket costs more than my car!
I’m being unfair, of course. It was on sale! Thirty percent off, I think, which meant you’d only pay $7,350 for it. Additionally, there was the extra 20 percent off they’d take at the register for your entire purchase, so the final price would come out to something like $5,880. Now, that’s what I call a bargain.
But before Barneys start liquidating everything, it was hoping to sell that jacket at full price. Nearly $11,000 for a sequined piece of clothing nobody can quite place. The nerve!
Instead, I present to you some cars you could buy instead. Wear the car to the garden party. You’d look better in it than the Valentino, I promise.
Any one of these cars would be a better use of your money than that Valentino. Especially the Volvo. I hear it is very boring to drive but its looks have aged well. Unlike the jacket.