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Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket
Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket-December 2024
2024-02-19 EST 22:09:39

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This past Sunday, with no one to see and nowhere to be, I decided to head to the Upper East Side in Manhattan to check out Barneys New York’s going-out-of-business sale. I’d never been to this department store before—it was far too expensive to be interesting—but now that it’s currently in its death throes, I thought what the hell!!!!!!!

Barneys, to me, was always one of those old-school Manhattan institutions. A high-fashion, high-price and high-class department store for girls like to flounce through when there was nothing better to do. As such, I never set foot inside it because I could never afford anything in there anyway. And, for the most part, I think terribly expensive clothes are superfluous and stupid.

This year, . Resulting are ongoing. They hilariously started as (I don’t know who needs to hear this, but five percent off a bag that costs $2,400 is not a sale!), but now the discounts extend to basically everything else and up to 60 percent off certain items.

And they can be very, very ugly items!

I went browsing for some laughs, and I did find something to laugh about.

The photo is blurry because I was laughing so hard. But you get the idea.

This heavily sequined jacket/shirt thing (maybe it’s a smock?) caught my eye from across the room. I went over for a closer look. It was a Valentino and it was very heavy—the design, no doubt, painstakingly assembled unnecessarily by hand. I checked the price tag and had to fight down a laugh.

It was $10,500. This ugly jacket costs more than my car!

I’m being unfair, of course. It was on sale! Thirty percent off, I think, which meant you’d only pay $7,350 for it. Additionally, there was the extra 20 percent off they’d take at the register for your entire purchase, so the final price would come out to something like $5,880. Now, that’s what I call a bargain.

But before Barneys start liquidating everything, it was hoping to sell that jacket at full price. Nearly $11,000 for a sequined piece of clothing nobody can quite place. The nerve!

Instead, I present to you some cars you could buy instead. Wear the car to the garden party. You’d look better in it than the Valentino, I promise.

1. Honda Beat — $9,999

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

2. Infiniti G37 — $7,900

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

3. BMW Z3 — $3,900

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

4. Nissan Laurel Sedan — $6,999

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

5. Porsche Boxster — $

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

6. BMW M3 — $10,500

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

7. Mercedes-Benz C32 AMG — $5,600

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

8. Range Rover — $2,950

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

9. Chevrolet Corvette — $9,000

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

10. Volvo C30 — $2,500

Image for article titled Here's A List Of Cars You Could Buy Instead Of This Ugly Jacket

Any one of these cars would be a better use of your money than that Valentino. Especially the Volvo. I hear it is very boring to drive but its looks have aged well. Unlike the jacket.

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