The flipside of yesterday’s list is today’s -provided list of the 20 least expensive cars to insure. Like saving money? Get ready to own a lame crossover or minivan.
Kim Hazelbaker of the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety sums it up nicely: “The least expensive vehicles are ones you have to drive and no one wants to.” She isn’t exaggerating — with the notable exception of the Jeep Wrangler, no self-respecting enthusiast would be caught dead in any of these. In fact, these cars are all so bad that, if you really need to save money, we’d recommend walking over buying one. The cash you’d pay for Kia Sportage would make for one really kickass pair of sneakers.
The annual cost listed is based on rates for a 40-year old man with a clean driving record.
We’re committed to not being page view whores, so if you want to see all 20 vehicles in one long list, click .
The flipside of yesterday’s 20 most expensive cars to insure in America list is today’s…
GMC Canyon WT
$1152.39
The first vehicle on the list is also one that we need to take back some of what we said above. The Canyon actually has a surprisingly entertaining chassis, but the 2.9-liter four-cylinder in the WT is soooooo slow that you won’t get the chance to exploit it. A work truck and nothing more.
Ford Escape XLS
$1149.67
No looks, no interior space, no fuel economy, no power, no handling, no ride no nothing for Ford’s craptastic crossover. One of the most pointless vehicles on sale today.
Dodge Journey SE
$1149.59
Dodge took the most boring type of car in the world, the crossover, and figured out how to make it even more boring with the Journey. Driving one says “I heart Clay Aiken.”
Toyota Sienna LE
$1148.78
Strike one: it’s a minivan. Strike two: it’s a Toyota. At least you had the sense not to buy a domestic mommy wagon.
Mazda Tribute S
$1146.69
Like the Ford Escape, but even more forgettable. The most boring car sold in America? Not quite, but close.
Dodge Grand Caravan C/V
$1146.53
Dodge’s version of the Town and Country isn’t bad, for a boring minivan, but any man who drives one of these will never ever have sex ever again. The automotive embodiment of letting yourself go.
Honda CR-V LX
$1146.29
Honda was an innovator when it came to popularizing the crossover class in the ‘90s. The problem was, they couldn’t have created a more worthless type of car. Take a small car, remove its interior space and fuel economy, jack up the suspension and uglify it a bit before fitting an outdated engine and voila: the crossover archetype.
Jeep Patriot Sport
$1145.58
Want to know what’s wrong with Chrysler? It’s this. The morons actually thought a small, FWD Jeep crossover would be so popular that they’d need different ones for men and women. Patriot drivers have penises, Compass drivers have vaginas, we’re guessing neither sees much use.
Hyundai Santa Fe GLS
$1141.07
As an automobile enthusiast, I choose to forget that “vehicles” like the Hyundai Santa Fe exist. Try it. There, that’s better now.
Honda Odyssey EX
$1139.80
Not a terrible minivan, but we’d highly recommend practicing safe sex so that your life never spirals downward to the point where you need to own one of these. Alternatively, we hear that you can actually make money by selling your children into slavery, maybe even enough to insure a real car.
Kia Sportage LX
$1138.41
Korea’s bargain brand makes a bargain crossover! It’s like buying a Kyocera brick when all your friends have iPhones.
Hyundai Tucson GLS
$1134.08
Good grief, who knew Hyundai had more than one crossover? This one’s the larger of the two, we think.
Toyota Sienna CE
$1133.97
Everything we said about the Sienna LE, just without options.
Dodge Grand Caravan SE
$1131.06
Another Grand Caravan! The old model was the least safe vehicle on sale in this country, but the new one doesn’t even manage to be remarkable in its lack of crash protection.
Mazda Tribute S
$1128.29
Ok, this is starting to get ridiculous. 2wd must drop the cost of repair or at least make it less likely that you’ll try to go offroading in one.
Jeep Wrangler X
$1124.38
A modern classic. Genuinely capable off-road, the roof comes off and everyone from 16-year old cheerleaders to retired mountain men look good in one.
Chrysler Town & Country LX
$1119.83
Chrysler’s version of the Grand Caravan is equally as boring. You know the people at WalMart that get in domestic disputes in the chip aisle? They exclusively drive Chrysler Town & Countries.
Mazda Tribute I
$1103.29
Holy crap, another Tribute! This one’s base spec with 4wd.
Honda Odyssey LX
$1095.26
Yet another Odyssey. This one’s the base-spec, which is all you should bother getting since all eight of your kids are going to have explosive diarrhea inside it.
Mazda Tribute I
$1070.25
Ok, we promise this is the last Tribute on the list. The Tribute I is the base model with 2WD. Hey, at least it has seats and a motor!
More on auto insurance from G/O Media’s partner:
Jalopnik is not involved in creating these articles but may receive a commission from purchases through its content.