I was about to sit down to dinner, and now I will be forever haunted (and less hungry) from seeing inside Oswaldo Negri's eyelids.

I know some people can do this, but...but......I can't even.

Doesn't the inside of your eyelid dry out? Or your eye? Or both? TELL US, FREAKS OF NATURE. TELL US.

If you're upstaging Jordan Taylor's former mullet, you're either doing something very right, or doing something very, very wrong.