On Saturday, March 4, the Nevada desert will be lit up with the madness of more than 300 off-road vehicles racing in one of the most famous events in motorsports: . This ratty old Volkswagen should be enough to keep up, right?

We peeped the race last year in as spectators. This time, I’m suiting up and diving off the deep end in a car I’ve been told “will treat [my] kidneys like maracas.” A “Class 11” car also known as a stock Beetle.

For those of you who aren’t into the off-road racing scene, the Mint 400 is the same event Hunter S. Thompson was famously “covering” in Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas under different ownership.

The event went through a few years of dormancy but was bought and rebuilt by off-road entrepreneurs the Martelli brothers who have revived it into a week-long party and contest of speed over sand. I’m not really big on Las Vegas, so I’m just sneaking in for the sandy part. It should look something like this:

Cool trailer, right?

But I agree: It’s missing something. Like an overly dramatic voiceover guy growling platitudes to us. Hang on, here we go:

Now that’s how an ad for a truck race is supposed to sound!

If you can’t make it to Nevada you can chase the race remotely with and a . But keep an eye on social media (#mint400) too, including and for rapidly updated action vids.

I’ll be in car 4701 for a lap, as long as I get up early enough to make last call for registration.

Like most desert races, the Mint welcomes a huge range of vehicle types from dinky little barely-modified VW Bugs to full-on factory-supported trophy trucks that can rip at over 100 mph.

The Beetles start bright and early at 6 a.m. on Saturday to minimize their odds of being pancaked by faster vehicles which kick off at half past noon.

I’ve had the privilege of getting in on a few off-road racing adventures in my years at Jalopnik, and every time I come back with stories I get this response from somebody: “Yeah, but have you seen those Beetles?”

Everybody who’s into cars but doesn’t know much about off-road thinks the desert racer vintage VW is the coolest thing ever. Everybody who’s part of the scene says I’d be crazy to climb into one.

So I figured we’d better experience this for ourselves.

Beetle racer Robert Johnson was willing to take me under his wing as his co-driver for one of his team’s two massive laps, and if you’d been reading this on March 3, 2017, I was probably puttering across the California/Nevada border on my way to meet my destiny.

Wish us luck. And life.